13 Years of Marriage

Today my hub and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage, which in today’s standards is like 63 right?!

Here are 13 things I’ve learned about marriage………

1.  Love is an action word.  It’s a verb.  It’s not a noun.  It’s not something you can fall in and out of (despite what Hollywood has to say about it)……it’s something you choose to do every day.

2.  When it comes to resolving arguments………before you seek an apology give one.

3.  A real love story is nothing like a fairy tale.

4.  Telling all your girlfriends about an argument or disagreement you had with your spouse is almost never a good idea.

5.  However, in reference to number 4, having at least one really close woman you can trust and confide in with marital issues is really key.  It’s good to have a friend in your life who really believes in your marriage and who will tell you when you are wrong.  Someone who isn’t always going to choose your side, and who isn’t afraid to verbally smack you upside the head when you really need it.  

6.  In reference to number 5, probably not a good idea for this woman to be your mom.

7.  Hanging out with couples of different ages and different stages of life is good for your relationship.  You need to be mentors just as much as you need to be mentored.

8.  No one other than you can make you happy.  That’s not the job or the responsibility of your spouse.

9.  Dating shouldn’t stop when you say I do or when you have children.  And neither should flirting.

10.  Marriage is a lot like a child.  It needs to be cared for and protected in order to survive and thrive.

11.  Your spouse isn’t a mind reader.  Say what you feel.  Ask for what you want.

12.  You only represent half of your marriage.  Everything isn’t about you.

13.  It’s supposed to be hard work.  If it was easy no one would ever get divorced.  

I’m no expert……I’m only 13 years in………but I’m in it for the long haul.

To my hub,

You’re still my favorite.  Thanks for letting me pick the first fortune cookie all those years ago.

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  • Great post, Carmel! Happy anniversary! We're coming up on 19 years next month, and all of what you say here is true. I think a lot of people don't realize that marriage is work, but rather, rainbows and butterflies. It's all about compromise, communication, and working together as a team.

    Have a wonderful day!

  • Happy Anniversary! And a great post – I've been married 23 years and that is all excellent advice :). Hope you have a wonderful time celebrating!!

  • What a perfect post about marriage. My husband and I have been married 8 years and everything you said has been the truth for us. Honestly loved this post Carmel. Couldn't have summarized things better. Great work and happy, happy anniversary!!!

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