unlocking the box

I believe things happen for a reason……..even the things we don’t understand……….or wish hadn’t happened.  That Martina McBride song “Anyway” always comes to mind when I think about my life.  “God is great, sometimes life ain’t good.  When I pray, it doesn’t always turn out like I think it should, but I do it anyway.”    I mean, what is it about a dang country song that can just speak to your soul?!  


So a couple weeks ago, I wasn’t feeling quite like myself.  I felt like I couldn’t get a deep enough breath and like my heart was racing.  It happened on and off over the course of a Saturday and by Sunday evening my husband drove me to the ER.  I’m not going to lie, I was scared.  Bad things happen all the time.  Perfectly healthy women have blood clots and all sorts of other health issues pop up out of nowhere all the time.   And I just knew something wasn’t right; something was going on in my body.

They ran every test in the book, and then discharged me.  The doctor said everything looked fine and he sent me home with an “anxiety” diagnosis.  Yeah, so basically they couldn’t figure out what was wrong so they were all like – “you’re having a panic attack.”

But I know me.  That ER doctor doesn’t.  I’m not saying that the doctor did anything wrong.  He was right  –sort of – I mean, the tests did show that everything was “normal”.  And I’m not saying anything against anyone who suffers from anxiety.  I have a couple of dear friends that have issues with anxiety and have had panic attacks.  But I don’t have anxiety.  I’m not a panic-er.  I’m a face it – move past it – don’t let it own you – give it to God kind of person.  And if I was having a panic attack, it was because my breathing issues were giving me anxiety not the other way around.

To make a really long story involving a phsycologist, my endocrinologist and another trip to the ER, a little bit shorter, something was indeed off – my thyroid.  My dietary changes have pretty significantly helped my autoimmune issues, and my thyroid medication needed to be reduced.  I was getting too much and it was kicking my thyroid into hyper mode which is what was causing the racing heart and shortness of breath.  I have had my medication reduced three times now since staring the paleo diet.  It is my hope to one day get off the medicine completely, but being that I’ve had autoimmune issues for over 10 years that may just be a dream.  Only time will tell I guess, but it is good to see that my diet is having a positive impact.  I didn’t give up bread and pasta for kicks people!  😉

So deep breaths……….finally………..deep, healthy breaths…………..I will never take breathing for granted again.  ever.

Something changed in me during the week that all of this stuff was going down.  It probably sounds crazy, but it really was a wake-up call for me.  Not being able to really breath, waiting for test results and trying to figure out what in the heck was wrong with me really opened my eyes and made me realize – God’s not done with me.  Because the truth is when I say that I’m a  – face it – don’t let it own you kind of person –  when it comes to dealing with fears or anxiety  – the real hard, ugly truth is  – that’s not exactly true.  Sure, I won’t let my fear of driving over bridges keep me from getting where I want to go, and I ride roller coasters even though I’m scared of heights.  But the real stuff that I’m afraid to do, the stuff I’m afraid to say or write, the stuff that actually matters, my fear drove me to lock all of that stuff up in a box and throw away the key a good long time ago.

While I was waiting in that ER room with my husband, God brought me the box and the key.  There is no other time more perfect to do what you’ve been called to do than right now.  Putting it – whatever “it” means in your life – off and waiting for the right time……….the truth is  – ain’t nobody got time for that.  😉    Your life is happening right now.

This Hillsong United song “Oceans” has really ministered to my heart lately.




I’ll be sharing more of my personal testimony over the next few months as I let God lead me to places in my past where I’ve been afraid to revisit.    
Are there things in your life you’ve been afraid to do or face?   There’s no time like the present.  That’s why they call it a gift. 

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  • So glad to hear your medical issue had a simple (and welcome) fix! This diet has made similar significant changes in my family's health as well. Nothing like a good health scare to knock us back on track!

    You are so right about living your life NOW! I was not the best at this in the past, but i am now determined to try to model this behavior for my kids.

    All the best to you on your new journey.

  • Glad you discovered the cause of your symptoms, and there was an easy solution. Scary nonetheless. As you know, both my daughter and I went GF/Paleo back in the summer for health reasons. It has made all the difference in the world, but agree that meds need to be monitored frequently once making the change as the diet can make a huge impact by itself.

    I love that song! And good for you. The time is now, none of us know what tomorrow holds. I think we would all be a little happier if we would just embrace for God has given us already instead of always looking to the future and wants. Believe me, I still need to work on that myself. I am already blessed beyond belief. Our pastor recently talked about giving of ourselves, using the talents God gave us…not only in the church but elsewhere. He basically asked, "what are you waiting for?"

  • As someone who's been on thyroid meds for the past 10 years, I KNOW. The loss of control over your body. It does honestly feel like "Am I dying?" I'm incredibly relieved that you're recovering & I'm looking forward to hearing more about your journey. Bring it!!

  • Can you talk more about your autoimmune issue? Symptoms, etc.? My mom has somethign similar and severe thyroid issues and I'm wondering if she would benefit from the paleo diet. Glad you're okay now!!! Very scary, indeed.

  • I talked more about my autoimmune issues in this post here – http://www.ourfifthhouse.com/2013/04/paleo-life-first-90-days.html – my thyroid has always been under active – hypo. After doing A LOT of research on diet and autoimmune issues I gave the paleo thing a try last January 2013 and it's made a world of difference for me. There's a lot of info out there on the link between gluten and autoimmune issues, and often times doctors/endocrinologists don't discuss this stuff with their patients. I'd definitely recommend googling – The Paleo Mom is a great site for more info – http://www.thepaleomom.com/

  • Carmel,

    So much of your post spoke to me. Since we went gluten free, our entire family's health has improved, especially my 5 year old, who had terrible chronic hives and an elevated thyroid level. After a week with no gluten, the hives were completely gone and at her next test, a completely normal thyroid. We will definitely never go back!

    As for fear holding me back, that is why I created my Year Without Fear project a while back. If you are interested, you can check it out at http://www.thebigrevealblog.com/ywf .

    Thanks for the great post. I am so glad you are feeling better!

    Sincerely,
    Grace

  • So glad to hear that your health scare has been resolved and that you have answers. I so believe that though our medical system does the best it can to offer solutions, we know ourselves best. Kudos for trusting your instinct to get to the bottom of everything Carmel. Wishing you continuous improving health! As for your realization about not putting things off anymore and embracing/sharing the matters of your heart right here, right now…truer words were never spoken. It's scary sometimes, embracing the unknown and facing fears straight on. But honestly, it's the most rewarding thing and when I muster up the courage to do so I've never felt more purposeful or 'where I'm supposed to be'. Thanks for sharing such wise words today. Wishing you courage and overwhelming contentment as you move closer to where you feel God leading you. I wish the same for all of us 🙂

  • I'm glad to hear you are fine! I am also thankful for this post. I am just starting to make drastic dietary changes to improve/eliminate chronic health issues, and this post confirmed that I am on the right track!I'm a firm believer that God still heals and that faith without works is dead, so I am happy to know that I am not alone on this journey to divine health and whole ness in Christ!

  • I'm so happy to hear that the medical issue was found and taken care of and that you have things under control. Way to go, understanding what should and shouldn't be happening in your life, with your body, on your time. I know we want to trust doctors and all their knowledge, but sometimes it takes more than that. So happy for you:)

  • So glad you're feeling better and so sorry you had to go through that! I'm really looking forward to reading more of your personal testimony. I have a deep distrust of doctors and my own body that stems from going through the same thing you described off and on for about 3 years. I've been on the paleo diet for about 5 years now (before I knew it was called paleo) and I'm feeling much better now, but my continued fear/distrust of my own body has guided most of my life decisions for the past several years (definitely need to work on my faith that God is bigger than any past medical issues). All that to say, this post really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing! I'm really looking forward to reading more.

  • good for you, carmel. i definitely agree that facing things in the past frees us! i think you know about my demons, and i faced them…. and i'm a much happier person because of it… stronger and happier.

  • I'm so glad that you are ok and that you got an explanation for what was happening to you and that your diet is giving you positive results.

  • So so glad to hear you're feeling better Carmel. I can only imagine how scary it must have been. Good on you for listening to your body and not just settling on what the drs said even though you knew something was wrong. Also I've never met another person with a fear of driving over bridges. Everyone I know thinks I'm irrational about it but I go into panic mode everytime….ever since I was a little girl. I usually just put my head between my legs and close my eyes til we are over it. Happy weekend friend:)

  • Wow. That was a powerful experience in your life for sure. I'm glad you figured out what was causing those symptoms – and you go girl for making such a positive impact to your health with your dietary changes!

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