thoughts on the real life application of the life-changing magic of tidying up

My guess is you’ve read or have at least heard of the book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” written by Marie Kondo.  It’s a New York Times best seller with over 3 million copies sold, and people have gone bananas for The KonMarie Method, Marie Kondo’s category-by-category system of organizing the home.

Thoughts of on the real life application of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

I read it last year right around the time my family was in the process of moving.  And I immediately thought to myself, “This is perfect timing”!  What better time to read a book about purging all the stuff you don’t really love or need in your home.  Basically why box up and move things you really don’t care that much about.  So while we were in the process of packing I systematically went through every. single. item. in our home and discarded anything that as Kondo puts it “didn’t spark joy”.  So if you’re planning a move anytime soon, I’d highly recommend you read this book and then jump in to the joy of letting go of all the crap.  ðŸ˜‰   You won’t regret it.  I let go of quite a bit of our holiday decor, oodles of my craft supplies and tons of the junk we had in our garage, in addition to a good thorough clothing purge.  We had a big moving sale and then made multiple trips to Goodwill to let go of the rest.  It was good.  It was liberating.  And even though I thought I was pretty good at organizing before reading this book, I did still find that I had hung on to lots of things for no real reason.  I had a ridiculous amount of candles, and I came to grips with my wrapping paper hoarding tendencies.  
So now that it’s been almost a year after reading the book and about 6 months since we’ve unpacked the things we did bring with us, I wanted to share a few of my thoughts on this business of “life-changing magical tidying up”.  
First off, I’ve recommended this book to a number of my close friends.  But I always recommend it with a few caveats. 
1.  You have to get over the number of times the words “tidy” and “spark joy” come up in this book.  In fact, I think I even recommended to one friend to read while sipping a glass of wine and then take a sip every time she read those words.  Drinking games for adults.  ðŸ˜‰   Some college habits never die.  Haha!  But seriously, don’t jump ship just because the repetition of those words starts to annoy you.  Because while “spark joy” is a catchphrase Kondo has coined, the main idea here is one that’s been around for quite some time.  William Morris, one of the most important figures of the 19th century, said, ” Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”  But what Kondo does in this book goes a bit further as she lays out a roadmap as well as gives you permission to let go of the embroidered pillow cases Aunt Betty gave you for your birthday five years ago.  So drink your wine and read the book.  ðŸ™‚ 
2.   Keep in mind when Kondo wrote this she didn’t have children.  Kondo just recently became a mother.  Now I’m not saying that a women without children can’t offer great advice on tidying or organizing the home, but I am saying that until you become a mom you just can’t fully understand what’s it’s like to have the level of stuff cluttering up your home that comes with children.  It’s like how I thought I would never in a million years feed my children chicken nuggets before I actually had children to feed…….things change when children become a part of your home……and some of your high ideals go to the wayside…..and for good reason.  So when Kondo recommends storing shampoo and soap in a cabinet after every use instead of leaving them in the shower stall like a normal person go ahead moms, roll your eyes, because I know you’ll be thinking the same thing I was thinking…..ain’t nobody got time for that.  To be honest I can’t think of any woman with kids or without that would find merit in that advice or that would honestly think that doing that would be something other than an added chore in your already busy day.  But at any rate I just think it’s helpful to know before reading that this tidying expert is just now joining the motherhood because a few of the things she recommended made me want to give her the side eye as I couldn’t see them working too well in my home.  And while she covers decluttering categories from clothing, paperwork and  keepsakes, she never once makes any mention of toys.  
3.  Which leads me to her chapter on folding clothes in which she writes, “By neatly folding your clothes you can solve almost every problem related to storage.”  Now, it’s not that I don’t agree, I do.  In fact, I myself follow Kondo’s folding method, not perfectly, but close enough. 
KonMari Method

KonMari Method

But back to the motherhood issue, my kids are 9 and 11 and while their closets are quite neat and tidy (see the girl’s closet here and the boy’s closet here), their drawers start out looking great and then after a few weeks start to look a little crazy.  I wash and fold, and they put away.  And they do a great job, but after awhile things start to look……….disheveled.  I think because while neatly folding your clothes to where you can see them all at first glance is absolutely great, the key is in being committed to keeping your drawers looking that way.  And since my kids aren’t old enough to find the joy in organizing as much as I do their commitment to staying on top of keeping their drawers neat looking isn’t super high.  I guess I could pull a mommy dearest and empty the contents of their drawers when they start looking crazy…….but I’m pretty sure they’ve already amassed enough crazy here in our home to have plenty to talk to a therapist about later in life, so why add to the list.  ðŸ˜‰  I just figure if they are putting things in the right drawers and not leaving piles of clothes on their beds than so long as I can’t see the mess it’s a mess I’m willing to live with.   I’d rather choose my tidying battles than attempt to conquer it all. 
And fyi, this isn’t just the kids’ commitment issue.  The hubs has had trouble committing to the KonMari method of folding as well.  #blesshisheart
At least his closet still looks neat.  
4.  My favorite part of the book was the chapter on Komono (miscellaneous items).  This is where Marie Kondo goes into not feeling guilty about letting go of things you’ve held on to out of obligation.  I wish I could add in the praise hands emoji right here because reading this was really great for me as I’ve been known to keep things solely because someone gave them to me even if I wasn’t crazy about the items.  And now, I have zero guilt about that whatsoever.  I’ve also long felt like having a ton of extra bedding stored in a linen closet was pointless, so reading the section on extra bedding was confirming for me.  As was the small paragraph she wrote about one of her clients that had 3 months of toilet paper stored in a closet.  That definitely gave me a chuckle as I myself have refused to join Sam’s Club or Costco for the mere fact that I don’t ever want that much of any one thing in my home. ever.  
5.  Lastly, Kondo talks a lot about purging, discarding and removing any and all items from your home that do not spark joy.  Then she delves in with a great roadmap providing instruction for effectively tackling each category of your home, but when I got to the end of the book I thought well, where are the strategies for keeping yourself from once again accumulating all the stuff?   I feel like it’s all fine and well to thoroughly purge and then store things in a neat and organized fashion, but without talking about curtailing our buying habits than won’t we just end up going through the same cycle over again?  I don’t know, I just felt like a chapter or two on that subject would have been really helpful.  Maybe it’s just as simple as stay away from the Target dollar spot.  ðŸ˜‰   I don’t know, but I myself have started doing the wardrobe collection thing to keep my closet and drawers from going to crazy town.  And that has made a huge difference for me.  
All in all, I feel like every homeowner could benefit from reading this book.  Even if some of Marie Kondo’s language is a bit odd……like when she mentions in the section on folding clothes that when you run your hands over the cloth you pour your energy into it…….yeah, I was like okay lady, that’s a little voodoo-ish, don’t you think?  I also didn’t agree with her section on books.  I reread books all the time and the library we’ve collected is one that makes me proud.  I love books!  Though I don’t keep every single one, I didn’t agree that you should reduce your collection to just 30 volumes.  Just 30!  That just sounded crazy to me.  I think that’s a really personal thing that no one can put the right number on for you.  So, while there were some definite moments where I paused and thought to myself, “Really?”, all in all the message and the method is really sound advice.  You just have to curtail it to make the most sense for you.  
Have you read this book?   Are you following the KonMari method?  What about her new book,  Spark Joy, have any of you read it?  

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  • I have listened to the book on Audible & am currently listening to Spark Joy. Although I think pictures of certain suggestions may be helpful so having the book may be better. I completely agree with what you said. I still have a long way to go, but it did give me the push I needed. Also, I find it easier to tackle one room at a time and she wants you to purge everything first.

  • I read and very much enjoyed this book. I agree with much of what you said here…there are great ideas in this book and some that don't work for me. It does get you started on the whole purging exercise. It's hard to start with groups of things rather than go one room at a time but it does make sense. I love the whole "spark joy" concept although as you said, she does say it A LOT! I also like thinking about what to keep rather than what to get rid of. I never approached purging that way. While every idea that she presents may not work for you, the overall goal should be changing your relationship with "stuff." Overall, very enjoyable read! And love your blog! xo

  • I chuckled several times while reading this book. When she talked about "thanking" your house when you come home everyday I almost laughed out loud! She has some great tips though. One of my favorites is encouraging people NOT to buy home organization products citing the utility of shoe boxes. Lots of time I find myself thinking "If I can buy XXX, then I will be able to organize YYY."

  • I just told my husband that book would be perfect for me. Now that I see what she says about books (30!!!) and no toy organizing tidbits, I may reconsider. Really, thanks for your honesty. I love your blog!

  • Just finished reading it and decluttering my house. As I have been trying the last few years to pare down our belongings and consume less, I was honestly surprised how much stuff there was still to get rid of after using her method. Your number 5 was my biggest issue with the book as well. I don't think it is a given that people will just stop consuming and buying less once they gone through the process once. At our house, it has to be a conscious effort and an ongoing discussion about lifestyle change to make sure it sticks.

  • I really enjoyed this book, but I agree that you have to be willing to overlook things that don't fit your lifestyle. I also think it's important to remember that the book was written for a Japanese audience, and homes are much much smaller there!

  • You know, all my friends and I had the same thought about the shower section. One of them informed us all that showers in Japan are not nearly like showers here in the US and after watching a youtube video, I could see how keeping things tidy and slime-free would be a real issue.

  • I'm glad to read your review. I read the book and felt like I had wasted my time at the end of it. It was so repetitive. I have been amazed at how many people cite it as a life-changing book. (I am obviously in the minority.)

  • I read this book and I totally agree with everything you said! The one main thing about her book that I did like, was how to declutter. Instead of tackling one room or area at a time, tackle one category (DVDs, CDs, shirts, pants, magazines, towels, etc.). Otherwise, she came across to me as a bit neurotic. 😉

  • Ha! Yes, I don't think the author intended for the book to be comical but there was some laughing out loud happening for me too. 😉 And I totally agree, I really loved that she wasn't encouraging people to buy all kinds of stuff to organize their stuff.

  • Yes, with fast fashion and so many "dollar spots", I think it's easy to accrue things without thinking too much about what you're spending. I've had to really take a step back and look at every single thing I'm buying with super selective eyes. It's been a good change, but one that I've had to be conscious about.

  • Yes, totally true. My grandmother was Japanese, and the culture is very different from America. Though I don't remember her taking bottles out of the shower/tub, I do remember how well she took care of clothing. Her closet and drawers were always perfectly neat. And she even ironed my grandpa's t-shirts!

  • I know Japan is very different. I would think her editors would have added a footnote if that bottle thing didn't apply to all people. I mean I'll agree my shower would look infinitely cleaner and less cluttered without all the products but, since my hub and I use different things…..there's just no way he would ever get on board with that. 😉

  • I think the whole "life-changing" part is because so many people struggle to let go of things. I could be wrong but I feel like so many people keep stuff purely for the sake of keeping stuff. And Kondo does do a great job of pointing out how silly and pointless that is. So for those that have attics packed full of stuff and closets packed to the gills of clothes they haven't worn in 10 years I'd say purging all of that would be pretty darn life changing. 😉

  • Yes, – the category recommendation was really helpful. And I agree that it was very clear after just the first few pages that this lady is very passionate about tidying. Like on another level. Like she made me feel normal. And that's saying something. 😉

  • I loved her book! But towards the end, MAN was I like, "Okay, this lady might actually be a little too nuts". I was able to donate like four garbage bags of clothes to goodwill, and now having lived with my remaining clothes a few months, I can already see another bag I will be donating! I totally agree with you about the books – my hubs and I want a darn library someday, so I only got rid of maybe 10 books out of our several hundred. Not losing the books!! And I also had a very negative reaction to her section about photographs and other personal memorabilia….. While it isn't ideal to have a couple of tubs of those things, gosh, just think about the personal family history and records that you're losing by tossing out that stuff. Diplomas, pictures, yearbooks, awards… those are things that her grandkids and great grandkids are going to really be sad they don't have!

  • Yes I didn't even mention the photographs in this post, but I agree that they are worth keeping around. Some of my best treasures are the old black and white photos I have of my grandparents. I still have all my high school yearbooks. I think they're fun to pull out and look at every now and again. But all the old toys my mom kept that were mine, I let most of that stuff go. Teddy Ruxpin had his moment of glory when I was 9 years old. I was happy to see him again at the age of 35 but neither of my kids were too impressed, so I sent him off……after I hugged him one last time. 😉

  • I agree with you Amanda and as you age some of those things being purged now become precious. My sons first pair of shoes now evoke all sorts of memories….was he ever so small? Once your kids marry and leave home and you have an empty nest it is a whole different ball game and I think many young people will regret purging personal stuff…..as for the books…30! not in this life lady!!

  • I'm in the middle of the book and I think it's HILARIOUS how much she says "spark joy" and "tidy"! I cannot even imagine growing up with her – the confessions had me rolling in the floor! I'm going to give it a try – after 8 years in our house we can use a good purge. 🙂 Oh, your #blesshisheart was awesome!

  • You are so smart to purge before your move. We sold our last house after just two weeks on the market and we had to pack fast. We put everything in storage and got an apartment while we looked for a house. When we found our house and were ready to move in, we got our stuff out of storage. As we unpacked, we threw half away, donated half and kept the other half I know there are 3 halves 🙂 I could've saved myself a lot of grief by doing it when we sold our house rather than moving a bunch of stuff we didn't need.

  • The part about only 30 books…I was ECSTACTIC when my husband suggested we turn one of our bedrooms in our new Victorian home-to-be into a LIBRARY! YES! I love books and getting rid of any of our collection is unacceptable to me! I have purged and gotten rid of so many things over the years, that what I have now is what I want to keep. Period. I love my man!

  • haha, I know I know… I've read the book right when it was available in my book store. Some of her phrases are quite amusing, but she has a very traditional Japanese background and, like the Japanese tea ceremony, the 'old traditional Japanese way' of showing each and every 'thing' respect, comes through over and over again. There is an article in the NYtimes about her, it's called "kissing your socks good bye". Love it! Anyhow, I did not follow all of her advice, like getting rid of all my books! Good grief!! Never! But many, many bags of fabric, crafty stuff, old clothes, newer clothes, shoes, nick-nacks left my home. A big part to charity, a part sold on ebay, and quite a bit went into recycling/garbage. It felt SOOOO GOOOOOD! It was really an eye-opener, using the words "does it spark joy?" made everything very easy.

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