Life has been a whirlwind lately, and I have so much to tell you all! Though I have to pump the breaks a bit before I spill the beans. I know, I know, so vague and such a tease. But I promise to spill soon!
Every now and again on this little blog I share real life stuff…….stuff straight from the heart……..and today is one of those days as with Father’s Day upon us this quote has been really heavy on my mind.
Every year around Father’s Day I see this quote pop up all over social media. It’s all over Pinterest and will no doubt be shared on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter a multitude of times over the next couple of days.
This quote makes me feel all the feels.
“The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” – Elaine S. Dalton
The greatest thing?
These words are so bittersweet for me. In some ways they haunt me.
I understand the intention behind these words. While I appreciate the sentiment and am no doubt a huge believer in marriage and in the importance of the family unit…………….I’m also a daughter of divorce.
My father stopped loving my mother when I was a teenager.
And yet I feel like the greatest thing my father did for me was to show me that his love for me wasn’t tied to his love for my mother. The best thing he did for me was to love me enough to not let his broken relationship with my mom interfere with our relationship. And the thing I’m most grateful for is that as a teenager I got to witness for myself what really makes a man great. It’s not about how hard you fall………it’s about how hard you work to pick yourself back up.
Through my relationship with my dad I learned one of life’s greatest lessons.
Love covers a multitude of sins, and forgiveness truly does give more to the giver than to the receiver. If you’ve been struggling with bitterness and hurt, I can promise you gifting someone with your forgiveness will give you freedom! Life is short yet the days are long, and there isn’t a single moment of your life worth wasting on resentment.
We love because He first loved us. We forgive because we are forgiven!
Happiest of weekends to you all……….especially to my daughters of divorce sisters. And for those whose fathers are no longer here with us, may you feel your Heavenly Father’s presence in a very real and comforting way this weekend.
My first thought after reading this post was that I wanted to hug your mom! I really don't know your story or the details of your parents divorce. I just know the pain of being the one who is no longer loved. 19 months after our oldest son died of cancer, my husband of almost 20 years walked out the door with his laundry basket. My little girl (5) handed him a piece of cloth and told him to keep it to remember her by. My ex husband told the children "he didn't love me" and "he wasn't leaving them, he was leaving me". You have no idea how damaging those words are. You feel like an unlovable monster. Truth was that my ex husband was having an affair and that many men say the same things as they leave for the new woman in their lives. As if, adultery wasn't painful enough!
Looking back it was all for the best. I am happily married for the second time and the proud mother of a sweet baby boy. I will live until the day I die believing in marriage and believing that the best thing a father can do for his daughter is love their mother. I know mothers are not always the innocent party. I know that there are valid reasons for divorce. I just don't believe that "I don't love you anymore" or "I'm not happy" are good ones.
You won't know how terribly those words hurt your mother until (God forbid) you experience them for yourself. It is like you have been waded up and kicked to the curb, unworthy of love.
Just sharing my view from the other side!